MYKI is tricky and dicky!

Melbourne's MYKI system is a farce

Melbourne’s MYKI system is a farce

I’ve just spent a week in Melbourne on holiday trying to come to terms with MYKI – the new ticketing system for their public transport system. OMG….it is a pain in the arse!!!!

Firstly, there were supposed to be tourist packs available but there weren’t when I decided to travel. I eventually bought a MYKI card – no actual fare value on it – for $6 at a 7/11. I then topped it up with another $10. I think the $6 thing is an absolute rip-off. You have to buy this card but it isn’t worth anything. As Liza would say “Tahhhhrifffficcc!!”

Then you can’t register the card on line for 24 hours – I have no idea why – it is all supposed to computerised and they’ve spent over 1 billion dollars to set it all up. Then, after 24 hours, when you finally are able to register, it then takes up to 4 hours to receive an email that everything is completed and active. What is this, the 1960s????

Even when you do register – which you need to do to keep track of what you’ve spent what they’ve charged you, top up on line etc. – any time you use your MYKI card to go on a bus or a tram or a train, it doesn’t show up in your account on the website for a day or so. How f*cking useless is that?

But the absolutely piece-of-resistance is this: trying to touch on and off. What a farce!!! In all the times I used MYKI my tap on or tap off only registered first time correctly ONCE. Every other time it felt like being a failed magician – the ‘trick’ of touching on or off just didn’t work. I had to try and try and try again – and I saw others in the same predicament. I’ve used Oyster Card in London and that city has about eleventyzillion more commuters than Melbourne and tapping on and off works fast and efficiently. Did Melbourne spend a billion dollars plus on a $2-Shop version of a ticketing system???

And then we have the “when do I touch off” dilemma. It was hilarious watching the discussions of frustrated transport users about this. In fact, you don’t have to “touch off” if you’ve been travelling only in Zone 1 and are exiting a tram in Zone 1. This doesn’t apply to trains or buses. Of course if you’re catching a tram for a journey solely in Zone 2, you must both touch on and off! Oh my god how it confuses people. And then there’s the question of Zones. No-one I heard discussing it, actually knew what was Zone 1 and what was Zone 2. And don’t even mention poor old tourists like me! I was more confused after reading the multi-paged MYKI brochure that I was at the start.

And you can forget about getting a cheap fare if you’re just going a couple of stops on the tram. No, under the MYKI system please pay for a full two-hour fare no matter what!

So MYKI is a system two Governments have approved and signed up for. And despite similar systems working well around the world, Melbourne & Victoria seem to have signed up for “Brand X” model!

Oi vey!



  1. Stupid system,my daughter used it today for first time…she is 14yr old student and at the station vending machine,no way to purchase ‘concession’ she put in $10.00 to cover travel and card and was pulled over by inspector trying to get onto her return trip home because card didn’t have enough in it ($2.95 short), instead of being shown how to top it up etc she was interogated for over 15mins and l was called to verify who she ws etc etc..l. what a load of Bull… she had more than enough credit if she had of been able to purchase a concession card from the machine. She never uses PT and now has paid $6.00 for a card she doesn’t need….

  2. Our “MAX”…Metro Area Express…has ticket machines at every stop. Trouble is…none of ’em work half the time. So the train comes by…you hop on & hope there isn’t a fare policeman checking tickets…at least till you can get to the next stop & jump off, buy a ticket & jump back on again. If you do get checked & you don’t have a ticket, you have to pay a fine plus buy a ticket. Get caught too many times & you get kicked off the train for 30, 60 or 90 days. They’re not too sympathetic either! Rotten Buggers!

    • In Sydney, we mostly have to buy pre-paid paper tickets and passes. There are NO machines at bus stops. The convenience stores and newsagents that sell them are paid a pittance by the Government for doing so and, in some cases, have stopped selling them altogether. There are many areas where no sales outlet exists yet increasingly you’re unable to step on a bus without already having a ticket. If you find yourself caught just needing to rush somewhere by bus – in case of an emergency for example – you’re screwed. You’re expected to have spare tickets on hand. Not everyone can afford that.

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