30 minutes of video of a Jatz box courtesy Nokia E63

Not worthy of a Spielberg production

Not worthy of a Spielberg production

I now have over 30 minutes video of a box of Jatz biscuits that are sitting on my sofa.

You can hear me chatting with Yoda on the phone in the background. Probably the most boring video footage in the history of the world. Even an 8 hour video of someone sleeping would have more interest.

Why do I have this video footage. And why am now playing it whilst writing this post? About 7pm tonight my new Noia E63, which has been down to onebar of battery power since this morning, beeped ‘low battery’ at me. Aha, I thought, you’re going flat of your own accord for the first time – hooray!

But no, here I am a couple of hours later after having filmed three videos – including a 30 minute video of a Jatz biscuit box and the f****** is still going. Arggghhh! Talk about the reverse of the normal being true!

But I need to have it not conk out while I’m asleep or I could miss getting up for work tomorrow. Not a good look after spending most of last week on sick leave. So it was time for the usual tricks….Pacman demo, connect to the net to check how much I’ve spent on the phone this month and….using the video feature again.

Now I can’t go to bed until I’ve flattened it so I can plug it in and recharge it. Happily this is the 3rd and final time I will do this. I have obeyed the rule that one must completely flatten a new mobile phone three times before recharging to get maximum life from the battery – and now I will goddamn recharge the mother whenever I bloody well want to!

Maybe they should put Nokia batteries into electric cars? Might make them commercially viable at last


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