Can’t get over September

I bought this single the other week at JB HiFi without ever hearing it – just on the basis of September’s last single – ‘Cry For You’ – which was really just ‘Smalltown Boy’ by Bronski Beat in drag. But anyway, I am sooooo glad I bought this single. It’s pop-fab-tastic.

September is from Sweden as many of you already know. This song just turns me into a big pile of mushy-pop-liquid. The boy who started buying 7″ singles in the very early 70s and still buys CD singles today can be summed up by one term:  POPSLUT!

Anyway, I can’t get over ‘Can’t Get Over’ no matter how hard I try.

Everyone, dance with me now!


Nokia E63….at last!

JudgeG and his pride and joy...the Nokia E63

JudgeG and his pride and joy...the Nokia e63

I wrote about it at the beginning, I’ve been lusting over it all this year and now….drum roll….I finally have it – the absolutely fabsational Nokia E63 in Ruby Red.

I waited until the penalty for upgrading was only $20. Then I hopped into the mobile phone shop on Thursday night and, after some hoo-haa and paperwork, I left with a lovely white bag containing a shrinkwrapped box – and inside that box…my very own Nokia E63!

All the bits and pieces (as seen below) were pawed and examined on the bus ride home. I love paraphernalia – especially when its glossy, brand new paraphernalia. All those manuals and info sheets, mini-headphones and such. I found nirvana for a short time on that long bus ride home.

Nokia Paraphernalia - love it, love it love it!

Nokia Paraphernalia - love it, love it love it!

I didn’t get to sleep until after midnight on Thursday night because I was playing with the phone and testing out it’s settings. Of course I had to put the sim card in and charge it up as well. I set the alarm to wake me gently for work the following morning. Changed the icon grid to a menu list instead (easier to read). And even discovered the 45 second demo version of PacMan that’s included with the phone. Talk about mobile phone hog heaven.

Protection. That was the big word in the 80s and it was certainly a big word for me. I am terrible in my inadvertent horrific treatment of all things electrical. They remain shiny and new for a day or two and then begin to look like the Wreck of the Hesperus. Some people are good with handling this stuff – I’m shocking. Drops and cracks are common. So I was determined to make sure my E63 had proper protection. If it’s not on, it’s not on!

I wanted a clear skin for it. Not easy to get unfortunately. If I wanted to get some cheap covers and cases, I had to buy them on eBay from Hong Kong vendors. I hate waiting for stuff to arrive, I really do. Plus I wasn’t sure the phone would make it through another week of JudgeG handling. Having it in my pocket all day Friday – competing with keys, coins, a camera, a security pass and more – it already didn’t seem to be comfortable with such treatment.

Today my best friend Yoda and I took a train to the city and the ubiquitous Paddys Markets in Chinatown. After walking around the markets for an hour it became clear that my choice came down to a rubbery-white shell, a black leather pouch thing or a crystal plastic case. Yoda advocated strongly for the crystal case and finally convinced me. Ten bucks later and I had protection. The man at the stall even wiped down my phone, inserted it into the case, locked it in place and wiped down the case itself. What a nice man.

The good thing is that it is the only cover that doesn’t partially or fully cover the ‘Ruby Red’ colour of the phone – I am in lerv with the colour! And also that it seems strong – it will need to be. No doubt the E63 will get dropped and the all round protection including the screen being covered will be essential. I’ve gotta have this baby for two whole years and I don’t want anything happening to it. If I have to go back to my awful LG U310, I’ll be a very unhappy boy.

Did I mention it has a torch? I even used it last night when I was out and about – to see a bus timetable at the bus stop or something. Gorgeous idea, so clever. There’s so much more stuff it does and I know I will never, ever use even 50% of it’s features. But I don’t care – it is pretty and shiny and uber-cool. At some point the push-email feature will come in handy I know. As far as surfing the web with it, well that’s not probably something I’ll get into. I’m an old fashioned guy who prefers to surf on an actual PC – or at least an Eee PC

Eee PC 701 - technology can be marvellous!

Eee PC 701 - technology can be marvellous!

So, here I am on a Sunday night. Washing clothes for another week at work and doing bits and pieces. The guy I was supposed to meet at the Shift last night didn’t show but who cares? How could he compete with the beauty of my Nokia E63. No contest really.

I’m not an ‘Apple person’ and I detest the ‘iPhone’ so this is the closest I come to being a techno-fad nerd. And I didn’t queue up for my little bit of sexy-tech, I waited six months until the price was right. But now it is in my hot little hands and I won’t be leaving home without it. It might be one of the most meaningful relationships I ever have!

Stairway to Gilligan’s Island

You wouldn’t be dead for quids, would you?

Stairway to Heaven meets Gilligan’s Island. And I wasn’t even looking for it. I was looking for information about upgrading RAM in an eee PC. God YouTube can be so amazing sometimes.

Boys in the Band: Yoda versus JudgeG

One hates it, one loves it....Boys In The Band

One hates it, one loves it....Boys In The Band

Yoda says: I can’t remember exactly when I saw “Boys In The Band” but I do know that it was the first gay film that I saw and that I didn’t like it at all. It left a really nasty taste in my mouth. Had I still been totally in the closet, this film could have kept me there or worse. Thankfully, I had started my coming out process and had already discovered that gay people were actually quite OK.

I guess that I can acknowledge that it was an important film in that it was probably the first mainstream film to depict homosexuals but what an ugly depiction it was. A group of self-loathing so-called friends who torture themselves and each other. There is not one redeeming feature between any of them. I would not want friends like these. The telephone game was particularly cruel.

The problem I have with the film is that at the time (and for quite a few years afterwards), this would have been the only template for young gay people coming to terms with their sexuality. I dread to think how some people may have reacted to this film. Young people need positive role models and there is not a single one in “Boys In The Band”. Not one. It reinforced the image of homosexuals as sad, pathetic and bitter and something to be ashamed of.

Of course, at the time, many gay people would have been like this. It wasn’t like it is today where there are many films featuring gay characters that are not stereotypical. Where being gay is more acceptable and there are a range of role models.

Although very much of its time, it’s worth remembering that the Stonewall riots had happened the year before release. Stonewall was the birth of gay pride and gay activism so really “Boys In The Band” was already dated when it was first released.

It seems no coincidence that the director of “Boys In The Band” also directed that other negative depiction of gay life, “Cruising” in 1980. By that time, gays were angry enough and organised enough to protest but this was not the case when “Boys In The Band” came out.

I suppose it is possible to watch these films today in their proper context – as historical pieces depicting a very narrow view of gay life. But I just don’t want to. “Boys In The Band” is still a story about really unlikeable people. The lines may be witty but they cannot make me laugh. It is just plain nasty with no redemption.

Go Harold!

Go Harold!

JudgeG says: I don’t see Boys In The Band as cruel or being full of unlikeable characters. I see it is a work of art, a story of a particular group of Gay men living in a particular city at a particular time – 1968.

I also don’t see that it has to be a ‘positive role model’ for young Gay people. The Killing of Sister George wasn’t and that’s another brilliant film. Boys In The Band just tells it like it is for particular group of Gay men in New York at that time. We might not like the way Gay people were treated and considered by society back then but that’s how it was.

Self loathing? Well, yes some of them were. But that’s because society had taught them that they were freaks, perverts, beneath contempt. That they were less than human. It’d be pretty hard not to succumb to a bit of self loathing when you’re getting that kind of negative reinforcement from your parents, your peers, the media, religion and society in general. That this group of men identified as ‘Gay’ at all is a miracle. I find their wicked wit and insecurities absolutely marvellous weapons against the world.

It’d be great if black people weren’t made to be slaves backin the olden days and it’d be great if women had equal rights and were treated equally from the dawn of time. Unfortunately, the world isn’t always the way we want to see it. Some times art – like a good movie – will reflect the unpleasantness. Perhaps seeing that reflection causes society to learn and move forward.

Every person in the movie – just like every person in real life – is flawed. We get to see their flaws magnified in the film because of the ‘hot house’ environment of Michael’s flat and the party. But my god, they do it with such incredible wit, bitchiness, cleverness and downright style that you can’t loathe them. You might feel a bit sorry for them but I’ve always thought ‘hell, I’d love to be at that party, what a blast!’

I didn’t want to slash my wrists about being Gay the first time I saw Boys In The Band – I found it mesmerising. I fell in love with it. I looked at these characters as being real people living and facing the world as it was way back in the late 60s. They fought, they cried, they bitched and most of all, they wore their hearts on their sleeves.

I totally related! 😉

Show me a happy homosexual and I’ll show you a gay corpse.

Harold: “You’re a sad and pathetic man. You’re a homosexual and you don’t want to be, but there’s nothing you can do to change it. Not all the prayers to your god, not all the analysis you can buy in all the years you’ve go left to live. You may one day be able to know a heterosexual life if you want it desperately enough. If you pursue it with the fervor with which you annihilate. But you’ll always be homosexual as well. Always Michael. Always. Until the day you die. “


The website wrote an article wondering about why there were so many bitter and twisted queens in the world.

The article referred to the classic 1970 movie ‘Boys In The Band’ – perhaps I’m just over sensitive but I felt they were dissing the movie. I had a little attack of ‘bitter and twisted’ myself reading this.

‘Boys In The Band’ is one of the most important movies in the entire history of what’s come to be known as ‘Queer Cinema’. It is brilliant, devestating, articulate, hilarious and accurate to a decimal point. It was made in 1970 and is about a group of friends in that era – way before being a fag was legal or even vaguely accepted by society. It tells a story that needed to be told and does it with style, flair and – I’ll say it again – brilliance.

Boys In The Band on DVD - whoever designed this cover, give yourself 10 points and a pat on the back!

Boys In The Band on DVD - whoever designed this cover, give yourself 10 points and a pat on the back!

I popped over to to see if they had any memorable quotes from this piece of genius. In light of the article, I was looking for bitter quotes of course. Well, IMDB didn’t fail me. Looking at their collection of lines from the movie I cracked up – there are more classic put-downs in Boys In The Band than just about anything else in cinema history.

Here’s just a selection….

Michael: What’s so fucking funny?
Harold: Life. Life’s a goddamn laugh riot.

Harold: Who is she? Who was she? Who does she hope to be?

Michael: What is he – a psychiatrist or a hairdresser?
Donald: Actually he’s both. He shrinks my head and then combs me out.

Donald: Thanks to the silver screen your neurosis has got style.

Michael: Believe it or not, there was a time in my life when I didn’t go around announcing I was a faggot.
Donald: Well, that must have been before speech replaced sign language!

Emory: Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?

Michael: It’s not always the way it is in plays. Not all faggots bump themselves off at the end of the story!

[Looking in the mirror]
Michael: There’s one thing to be said about masturbation: you certainly don’t have to look your best.

Michael: [sings] “Forget your troubles, c’mon get happy! You better chase all your cares away!” What’s more boring than a queen doing a Judy Garland imitation?
Donald: A queen doing a Bette Davis imitation.

Michael: Donald, you are a real card carrying cunt.

Cowboy: I lost my grip doing my chin ups and fell on my heels and twisted my back.
Emory: You shouldn’t wear heels when you do chin ups!

Emory: Ooh, I’d love to meet him. Or her. I have such a problem with pronouns.
Alan: How many S’s are in the word pronoun?
Emory: How’d you like to kiss my ass? That’s got two S’s in it.
Alan: How would you like to blow me?
Emory: What’s the matter, your wife’s got lockjaw?

Michael: You’re stoned and you’re late. You were supposed to arrive at this location at eight thirty dash nine o’clock.
Harold: What I am Michael is a 32 year-old, ugly, pock marked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it’s nobody’s god damned business but my own. And how are you this evening?

Harold: Your lips are turning blue. You look like you’ve been rimming a snowman.

Harold: How’s the bathroom smell?
Michael: Before it smelled like someone puked. Now it smells like someone puked in a gardenia patch.

Michael: Show me a happy homosexual and I’ll show you a gay corpse.

Michael: [adopting a southern slave’s accent] I hear dat if ya puts a knife unda ya pillow, it cuts da pain.
Harold: I hear that if you put a knife under your chin, it cuts your throat.

Michael: [about the cowboy] How much was he Emory?
Emory: A STEAL!
Harold: A ham sandwich. Fifty cents, any time of the day or night.
Harold: [about Michael] KING… of the pig people!
Cowboy: I’m not a steal. I cost twenty dollars.

Harold: [about Emory’s falling down] A falling down drunk nellie queen.
Harold: Well, THAT’S the pot calling the kettle “beige”.

The Robinsons on Waltons Mountain

Sometimes there just aren’t words to describe the things you find on the internet.

Getting in early for Yoda’s Birthday!

The birthday boy himself!

The birthday boy himself!

Here he is, the birthday boy! I’m getting in a little bit early – it isn’t his birthday for another 1 hour and 46 minutes as I type this. But anyway, Happy Birthday Yoda! This picture of the birthday boy is uber-new – just took it last night at Petersham RSL. Isn’t he adorable? Hard to believe he’s fort…..cough….cough…. Well, lets not go there – he might get sensitive 😉

Still, he should be happy at the moment….he won a prize in the raffle last night. Neither James nor I did. Although what he wants with a digital photo frame I have no idea.

We’re hardly speaking at the moment….his home phone is buggered and he blew all his monthly mobile credit on a call to Sweden. I’ve blown all my monthly credit on a short call to Sweden and calling Yoda because he didn’t have any credit. We’re both waiting for our monthly reset dates to happen.

I found this photo of the object of Yoda’s mobile phone credit taken (I believe) on the last big trip to Europe we did back in 2005. G, G & G on the road together, sharing a hotel room together, partying together – I have mor eincriminating pictures but I’ll save them for another time 😉

Birthday boy and Swedish boy

Birthday boy and Swedish boy